How far is this marathon?
It matters not whether you are talking about a 5K, 15K, or 50K, when mentioning an upcoming race, you will run into someone who feels any sort of long-distance running is “crazy,” and they only run “if someone is chasing me!” Ha Ha!
Dealing with comments from non-runners is part of the task of being a runner. I will say, however, at least today we no longer need to cope with complete ignorance to our sport, cars swerving to hit us “lunatics” out on the road (not too often, at least), and sundry other horrific things those who ran before us had to deal with just a few decades ago. However, with the proliferation of the way we share information, social networking sites and the internet in general, we have to deal with a greater expanse of low-level running ignorance on a daily basis.
As such, here is a list of phrases that if you ever hear someone mutter, I am giving you full permission to roll your eyes and shake your head. Better yet, just use one of these handy retorts.
Any and ALL references to Forrest Gump: Yes, we get it. A fictional character ran a whole bunch. How about you learn the name of an actual runner and call me that?
Running is bad for your knees: Actually, no it is not. But that triple cheeseburger with fries slathered in ranch dressing and DIET Coke most assuredly is bad for your health. Worst case scenario for me? I limp. You? Death from a massive coronary.
There simply isn’t enough time in the day for me to run: Yes, fortunately, I live on that alternate planet which has more hours in its day than yours.
I’ve never seen a runner smiling, so it can’t be fun: Do you smile during sex?
I don’t even want to drive that far: Neither do I. That is why I run it instead.
My husband ran a 5K Marathon last weekend: No. No , he did not.
That’s just crazy: Sitting at home, wasting away, creating a society of overweight adults and subsequently overweight children, making our medical bills skyrocket and health insurance impossible to afford for many as a result, while at the same time using more and more of the precious resources this planet has on it to continue to feed overindulgent eating and drinking habits, which in turn contribute to a weakening economy, pollution, climate change, and decimate our own immune systems is, in my humble opinion, “crazy.” Going for a jog seems pretty damn sane.
What are you running from?: You.
Then again, be thankful for the non-runners: Without them, our faster friends would have no choice but to make fun of us instead.
Speaking of smiles, reading that definitely brought a smile to my face!
Love this…it was like a kick in the butt for those who need to start running again! Thanks, Dane!
Again Dane you have nailed it, and yes I will roll my eyes!!!
Here, here!
Yay, and Amen! Awesome stuff, Dane. Thanks for that to start off a Monday.
So true! You summed it up nicely!
Great article Dane! I find myself looking forward to your articles each week. This one made me laugh out loud! Thanks for the great start to the week!
Very entertaining and so true in every aspect of running. I do remember running over 25 years ago and feeling like you were looked @ differently on the roadways. I always wave @ cars going by to let them know that I do appreciate them swirving away from us runners. This is great, keep up the writing! I’ll surely pass this along!
Loved the article, good laughs and what all of us ‘crazy’ runners would LOVE to tell those that aren’t
I have a t-shirt that I picked up some years ago that says “ALL marathons are 26.2 miles”… I started wearing this after morons at work asked me repeatedly, how long was this marathon that you did? I wore it to an expo once, randomly, as I was registering for a race and I have never had so much commentary/conversations with all the runners in all my life… I started making it a habit/ritual to wear it when I went to pick up my race packets and it has been highly amusing to hear all the anecdotes about our non-running brethren and the ignorance that seems to be the norm.
Another great article, Dane. You wrote what the rest of us runners think on a daily basis!!! This article reminds me of a news report I was watching on television in which they were talking about a race to raise money for Haiti. The race was a “two-mile marathon.” Haha, if a marathon was only two miles, imagine how easy that would be!!!!! Pretty sad when even a news reporter can’t get it right!!!
I’m looking forward to reading your article next week.
Great article, funny stuff!
Thanks Dane! My fave was the “running is bad for your knees” retort. I may have to borrow it. My current response is that I waited until I was 40 before I started running so I figure I should be able to run for at least 40 more years on my perfectly preserved knee joints.
ABSOLUTELY! Couldn’t agree more! Thank you for making me smile on a Monday!
Yep. Can’t say how many times I’ve been told running is bad for my knees…even by my mother. I’ve been running for 30+ years. At what point will it be do bad things to my knees?
Just got around to reading this article – LOVED it! Made me laugh (because the suggested responses are awesome) and cry (because sadly I’ve heard those same questions over and over again). Thanks for making my day!
Amazing the number of non-runners who are quick to tell you they HATE running. My favorite response to why I run so much — to see how far I can go.
Dane, I loved this! Thanks for another great article. You really have a gift for writing in a way that speaks to runners. A comment I often get, when non-runners hear about my training runs of 30+ miles and the 50-mile race I’m doing, is an incredulous “All in one day?!” But the best was this week when someone heard I’m training for a 24-hour race. Her response was the same: “You’re running 24 hours in one day?” My response was to tell her that really it’s over 2 days since it starts on a Saturday morning and ends on a Sunday morning. I think she thought it sounded easier that it was over a “2-day” period rather than 24 hours “all in one day.” Ha!
Love this! I’ve heard all of these! Thanks for sharing.
Wish I could post this at my workplace!!!!