To accommodate increasing numbers of tourists to Cold Mountain-made famous by the Oscar-nominated movie and award-winning novel-the U.S. Forest Service announced plans last Friday to install an 1800-foot escalator to the summit. A 10-mile paved walkway to the mountain will also be bulldozed to aid Cold Mountain aficionados eager to “walk in Inman’s footsteps,” and legislation introduced by Elizabeth Dole (R-N.C.) would clear a gravel road through the wilderness to allow Hummer tours to the top of the mountain. Cold Mountain is part of the Shining Rock Wilderness Area, which prohibits roads and machinery under the 1964 Wilderness Act. Dole and other proponents of the Cold Mountain Escalator claim that wilderness designation is outdated.

“Wilderness, schmilderness. That mountain belongs to the taxpaying American people,” argues Dole, “not to dangerous bears and poisonous snakes and other wild critters, who don’t pay a dime in taxes.”

–Beau Guss