The best part of having newborn twins? I’m up at 3am so I can get an early jump on the deals at tramdock.com. I’m specifically looking for two sets of telemark skis for toddlers. I figure as soon as these kids get head control, I’ll get them out on the snow. This is assuming my newborn boy and girl will eventually want to learn how to ski, and mountain bike, and rock climb, and surf. My wife’s parents are more prone to enjoy documentaries about candle-making than the latest Warren Miller film–what if my kids inherit that bookish sensibility? What if they want to join the chess club instead of the Southern Off Road Bicycle Association?
I know what I’m supposed to say here. I’m supposed to recite the standard parent line: I don’t care what my kids decide to do with their time, as long as they’re healthy and happy. But let’s be honest, I think every outdoorsy parent hopes their kids will share their love for singletrack or sandstone or drop and pool creeks. I love to ski and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t hoping that my kids will be the first boy/girl twins to double gold in the Winter Olympics. I’m thinking boarder cross and freestyle moguls in 2030. I even spent several months campaigning to name our baby girl “Winslow,” so I could call her Lowe, which sounds like the name of an Olympic skier. Every time she approaches the starting gate, the announcer could play “Low Rider” over the speaker system. How awesome is that?
Alas, there’s a chance my kids will be more interested in scrap booking than the terrain park. And I’m sure I’ll support them enthusiastically if they choose wizardry role playing games over the Winter X Games. I have a few years before the kids start choosing their pastimes for themselves, and what’s wrong with a little subtle manipulation? After all, Tiger Woods was swinging a golf club at the age of two and that turned out OK. Conventional wisdom says kids need to know how to walk before they learn how to ski, but has anyone ever tried strapping a baby to a snowboard and sending him down the halfpipe? The baby might like it.