Search
Close this search box.

I Am Rambo

Like all good boys growing up in small Southern towns, I spent a lot of my free time during the early ‘80s browsing the local knife store. Throwing stars, ninja swords, butterfly knives—these were the shiny objects I lusted over before I discovered girls. After I purchased a knock-off version of the Rambo Knife from the flea market, I spent hours imagining the various survival situations I was now equipped to handle. With that knife, I felt like I could disappear into the woods behind my house and survive for days if a Red Dawn-style communist invasion occurred in my neighborhood. I pictured myself alone, decked in camo and face paint. Just me, my knife, and my dog Ebony, living off the land.

Never mind the fact that I couldn’t catch a fish with a pole and bait, much less a coil of fishing wire and primitive hook. Never mind the fact that the only fire I had ever started up to that point in my life was an accident involving a summer drought, a bed of pine straw, and some bottle rockets. I had the knife. I was covered.

Not much has changed today. I still can’t start a fire unless spontaneous combustion is involved, and I wouldn’t know how to actually wield a blade if my life depended on it, literally. Put me in the wilderness and hand me the Ultimate Knife, and you may as well be handing me a sock stuffed with vintage GI Joe action figures. And yet I look at the Bear Grylls Ultimate Knife and I can honestly see myself latching that blade to the end of a long stick and spearing stingrays, just like Bear.

That’s the beauty of gear. It gives us the illusion of preparedness. No matter how ill-equipped we are as survivalists or athletes, as long as we have the right equipment, we’re good to go, at least in our minds. Super light running shoes make us feel like super fast runners. Wide powder skis make us feel like we can ski powder. Survival tools make us believe we’re survivalists. The illusions dissolve quickly when the running route turns steep, the lift ride drops us at a black diamond, or you really do find yourself lost in the woods with just a knife and some flint and steel. Until then, we can enjoy the fantasies that shiny new gear gives us. •

Share this post:

Discover more in the Blue Ridge:

Join our newsletter!

Subscribe to receive the latest from Blue Ridge Outdoors Magazine sent directly to your inbox.

EXPLORE MORE: