I was recently whining about my favorite mountain bike race being cancelled only to learn that it is back on the schedule – The Icycle is this weekend! (Feb. 12)

I will take credit for this and say that it was my public whining that caused them to change their minds. Now, countless numbers of mountain bikers will flock to Fontana to bust their butts on the ice in the middle of the night, gathering at the bottom of the hill around meager fires in rusted barrels, drinking moonshine from flasks just to feel warm.

Maybe the naked guy will be there, so endowed that shrinkage was not even a noticeable factor. Maybe there will be community bathtubs so filled with bubbles that participants will be tempted to run about outside wearing “bubble dresses.”

Perhaps there will be somebody there capable of competing with Chris Herndon’s times. Heh-heh.

Perhaps there will be kegs still going for Sunday morning breakfast of cheesy frittatas with potatoes.

It’s really going to be a bummer to spend the weekend in the middle of nowhere, nearly to Tennessee, with a bunch of really cool people who just love being on their bikes.

I just wish I were among them. If I’m lucky I will get to ride my bike this weekend. I still haven’t ridden my new Christmas bike, which is an absolute shame. I frequently go down to the basement to visit it. I feel like it should be in my bedroom for a while like all of the other bikes have been. I used to love waking up and rubbing the sleep from my eyes so that I could recline back onto the warm pillows to take in the dime-layed welds and perfectly lubed chain and shiny spokes. Now I’m afraid I would merely trip over it as I bumbled through the dark, half-asleep on the way up to the baby’s room at 5:30 a.m.

So quick…today is the last day to register online. Book your cabin, bring extra lube, and remember to leave the bike in a gear that you like so that when the derailleur freezes you won’t be too terribly screwed. Getting your friends to help pee on it could help in an emergency.

Go here to register for the Icycle.