Camping

Trail Foods That Don’t Suck

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I stumbled into Burnt Spruce backcountry campsite on the North Carolina side of the Smokies, practically starving. I’d spent the last mile mentally inventorying the food in my pack, grateful for some mood-lifting, gut-filling munchies to be devoured upon stopping. A heavyset, pig-tailed middle-aged woman sat by the fire ring. She was considering her food situation, too. I glanced toward her stockpile, lying atop a stump. Either this hiker was a newbie or on some sort of crash diet — she was settling between 3 pieces of unidentifiable hard candy, a smashed loaf of white bread, and a can of cabbage.

I’d been there before. It’s an evolutionary process to reach the point where your pack contains trail foods that don’t suck.

When you think of trail foods, do beef jerky, gorp, and Ramen noodles automatically come to mind? Or maybe it’s the freeze-dried stuff or prepackaged oatmeal? The underlying philosophy of trail fare is this: you want foods that have as little water weight as possible, are packaged for travel, are nutritious (or at least filling), and are easy to make. But if you are me, you also think of what you can get away with. Drop a grain of salt in your pack when reading this and don’t blame me for food poisoning.

When I started backpacking, I tried freeze-dried and other pre-packaged “add water and wait” meals. Generally coming in the foil pouches into which you add boiling water, freeze-dried meals are much tastier than they used to be. After repeated price shock, I started to experiment, bringing my indoor pantry outdoors.

First of all, why the paranoia on spoiled food? If it smells bad, don’t eat it. The majority of backpackers I know hike no longer than a week on the average, if not just a weekend. So why eat like an Appalachian Trail thru-hiker?

Breakfast. Carry fresh fruit for your first morning — bananas, apples, or tangerines, even if they are heavy. What about country ham, bagels and cream cheese? Toast the bagels over the fire after heating the country ham and you have a lip-smackin’ winner. Make a dried fruit/nut mix of your choosing – blueberries, cranberries, almonds — then add it to Cheerios with some reconstituted dried milk and you’ve got a healthy first meal.

The base of my lunches: flat flour tortillas. Think of tortillas as pre-smashed bread. Other packable breads are bagels, English muffins and pita bread. Nowadays, tortillas come in varieties such as whole wheat, spinach, etc. I will add peanut butter and fruit preserves, not mere jelly, which is just flavored sugar, to make a roll-up sandwich. Tortillas can also be used in lieu of easily crumbled crackers. Top them with anything you would a cracker. Put in smoked oysters then add some slices of mozzarella or pepper jack and roll up into a nice greasy filling lunch.

Dinner. To meat or not to meat? (If you are vegetarian, skip to the next paragraph.) Even on the trail, my first night’s fare features heavy perishables to cook over hot coals, such as hamburgers with all the trimmings, boneless chicken, or steak and whole baked potatoes, or baked onions. Campfire cookery is traditional fun! Microwave the taters or onions at home, then wrap them in foil after smearing them with butter and spices, and all you need is a re-heat. Sweet potatoes with cinnamon and real butter are delectable. If you are paranoid about meat going bad, do this: Freeze it at home, wrap it in foil and it will be thawed by the time you arrive at the first campsite. Consider brats, kielbasa and other pre-cooked links. You would think the links are for the first or second night, but those preservative-laden wieners will keep up to a week. Salami and summer sausages are good choices that don’t require refrigeration. Get whole rolls and not pre-sliced.

Try a salad. Make the salad at home, then put it in Tupperware. Add the dressing at camp, though. Eliminate the greens if the weather is really warm, creating what I call a chunky salad. Baby carrots and radishes travel surprisingly well for vegetables and make for a healthy snack several days into a trip. Celery lasts less long but is a good choice, too. Eat the above as is, add to the salad, or bring a little dip.

What about cheese? Cream cheese keeps pretty well not refrigerated. In fact, regular cheese keeps pretty well too. It might get a little greasy or malformed in warmer weather, but it neither scares me nor makes me sick. Parmesan cheese keeps great and you can enhance meals with it. String cheese and wax-covered cheeses last for weeks if kept out of direct heat.

Sneak a sweet in your pack, then whip it out at camp or on the trail. You’ll be a hero. Homemade brownies travel well, as do cookies. Package them in smash-proof plastic. Hot chocolate is good during cooler times. Avoid candy bars, as they can turn into a melty mess.

The most important things are the adventures and your backcountry experiences. Develop your own style in everything that you do. There’s no reason you can’t enjoy what you normally eat, and even look to it as a reward at the end of an exciting and challenging day on the trail. After all, an army travels on its stomach. So does a hiker.

Published by
Johnny Molloy