When someone accomplishes something great, they win an award, or finish an extraordinary feat, they often thank the people that helped them along the way.
We hear these stories during the Academy Awards, on Real Sports and during Olympic coverage of the summer and winter games. This week, we heard it in post game interviews with Elite Eight teams headed to Houston next Saturday. VCU’s Coach said something to the effect, “that it didn’t matter that no one thought his boys would make it this far. They believed in themselves and only their confidence and hard work mattered.”
Wouldn’t we be disappointed if a coach or player took the mic and said “I deserve this and only me. I worked harder than everyone and didn’t need anyone’s help.”
Such a statement, so self-centered, so biting, would hurt everyone in earshot. It would hurt because we know the sentiment cannot be true.
Bottom line is we need one another. We are communal beings that often can only be our best selves with the direct encouragement, care and involvement of others.
So why then, knowing this about ourselves, are we so shocked when we cannot change for the better without help?
A few months ago I wrote an Article about a class I took at a local yoga studio called Transforming your Life. It was a weekly meeting that had elements of sharing, accountability, encouragement and self discovery. It wouldn’t have been effective if I had undergone this exploration alone at home, with a work book or online tutorial. It was the group that made the process possible, and I believe, change occur.
This past Saturday, I ran 4miles before 9am. Please, be impressed. I was. I am not an intense athlete that plans workouts for every day of my life. I am a sort of, soft core, daisy smelling athlete that enjoys getting outside when the weather permits and will mostly plan athletic events that involve snacks and friends.
I didn’t run on my own, full of grit and drive. I ran with 40 new friends that all joined a class through a local running store to help train us for a 10k this May. YES. I paid for these new friends and they are worth every penny. For the low low price of $100, I get months of encouragement, hand-holding, a written work out schedule, nice people every week telling me how great I am doing, and at the end, I will have the ability to run a 10K.
Its not that I don’t know how to run. The class is successful because it meets a need. Running with others provides encouragement, and allows me to be my better self. This isn’t a brand new idea as Ultra Runner John Coctostan (no way – is that really his name – AWESOME) wrote about the same thing in this month’s BRO. My guess is, the same is true for you. Ultra Runner, or not, you would probably work out more, and enjoy it more with a friend.
You would ride, run, swim, golf, paddle, climb, or pack more with friends. If you do these things often, it is likely you do not do them alone. But what if you are just starting out? What if you want to run, swim, golf, paddle or pack but don’t know anyone else to join you? Joining a formal class is not always an option — but thankfully, there are ways to find the community we need around the activities we love.
Start, online. Look for clubs with open events, meet-up groups, events in your local paper. Ask colleagues, friends and loved ones – “I am looking for a group to canoe with but I don’t know of anyone. Do you have friends that Canoe on weekends?”
It is not weakness that we need oneanother. It is simply human nature.
So on May 28, after my short, squat legs have taken me over 6 miles and I am red, tired and proud, I will give a short speech in my head. It will start with a thank you to the nice people who helped me get there. I will acknowledge that I couldn’t do it without them and I will be grateful for this lesson learned. I will also feel proud and strong that I have achieved something great. Maybe more proud that I didn’t do it on my own.