Group rides make it all better.
I had a disturbing moment recently when I found myself browsing the self-help aisle of the bookstore. The titles of the books were resonating with me like never before. “The Enchanted Self.” “Are You Living or Surviving?” Suddenly, I realized I’m the target audience for this sort of do-it-yourself therapy. It’s not that I’m depressed, it’s more like I have a mild case of ennui. It’s just enough to make me an unpleasant person. I get angry quickly, I lack motivation, and I find myself staring off into the distance and singing “Desperado.” It seems to be an epidemic. Most of my friends are suffering from a similar affliction, as if we’re all going through an early mid-life crisis in unison. Sort of like when sorority girls spend so much time together and their lady patterns become in sync.
I spent some time analyzing my life to discern a cause for my unrest, but everything seemed to be in place. Career: great. Family: fantastic. Diet: healthy. Exercise: regular. Sleep: ample. Only one key factor seemed to be missing. The group ride. My friends haven’t gotten together to mountain bike in almost three years—a period of time that has been a blur of babies, career moves, and financial woes. There was a time when we had a large ride every Wednesday afternoon. We scheduled our weeks around it. Somewhere along the line, we all shifted our priorities, moving the group ride lower and lower down the list. Most of us continued to ride individually, and occasionally two or three of us would squeeze in a quick hour-long spin, but we couldn’t seem to get the entire “band” together for the raucous weekly ritual we were all accustomed to.
The regular group ride seems like such a simple thing: five or six dudes get together for two hours, once a week, to ride their bikes in a single file line up and down a mountain. You wouldn’t think that this mundane ritual could have such a profound effect on a person’s life. I mean, the group ride is fun, it’s healthy, but could it actually change my mood? Could reinstituting this regular bout of camaraderie make me a better person? A nicer husband? A more patient father? A harder worker?
As luck would have it, one recent afternoon, I had the opportunity to see how valuable the group ride could be to my personal well-being. The stars aligned and all five of the original riders could make it to our favorite trailhead at the same time on the same afternoon. The band was getting back together.
I showed up at the trailhead early and got to watch all the other riders pull up, smiles on their faces. Everybody hopped out of their cars quickly, vigor in their step, anxious to start talking and riding. We were all giggles and jokes as we pedaled onto the first ribbon of singletrack, which felt so foreign even though we’d all ridden it a thousand times before. Someone blew a tire, but we didn’t mind waiting. It was warm. We were on our bikes together. We couldn’t be happier.
At the top of the long, big climb in the middle of the ride, we were already spent and complaining about how we’d let ourselves go. We paused at the ridgeline to catch our breath and someone pulled out cans of beer from their backpack. Chugging the beer, laughing, mud on my calves, I couldn’t for the life of me understand how I let this ritual go. This is so much more than exercise. This is family.
The group ride is where all of us discovered the easy joy of trying to push each other over while riding boring forest roads. The group ride is where we coined the catch phrase, “I’ve got a lasagna in the oven.” It works in a variety of situations. Feel free to try it out. The group ride is where you fish around the cooler, hoping there are a couple more beers stuck under the ice so you can prolong the conversation for a few more minutes. The group ride is where nobody talks about work. The group ride is where we adults all discovered how to be kids again.
And yes, I am a better person after this ride. I hug my kids for longer and don’t get upset when they rub lotion all over my coat. I tell my wife her hair looks pretty and play footsie with her on the couch. I feel lighter. Younger. Calmer. Tired and rejuvenated all at the same time. It’s the way my mother used to describe how she felt after going to church.
Is there medicine in the group ride? Hell yeah. There’s medicine, balance, joy in the group, no matter what the activity is. Run. Paddle. Climb. Skip. Do something, but every once in a while do that thing with a handful of other dudes or dudettes. It’s good for your soul.