I’m a firm believer that we should all continue our education well after we’ve attended our last class. For some, that means learning French or attempting to levitate through mindful meditation. Personally, I’m trying to learn how to open beer bottles with random objects. I suck at it. Never could master the cigarette lighter beer bottle trick. I’ve even been known to have trouble opening beers with an actual bottle opener.

But since I’m all about trying to become a better person, I’ve been seeking out wise individuals who can open bottles of beer with outdoor equipment. We’ve already covered the carabiner and the bike pedal. Now it’s onto the river.

Here’s the latest in BRO’s hard-hitting investigative series about how to open beer bottles with random objects. In the above video, Hartwell Carson, the French Broad River Keeper, shows you how to use a canoe paddle for good, not evil.

Follow Graham Averill’s adventures in drinking and Dad-hood at daddy-drinks.com.