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Skirts on Bikes!

I was so happy to ride with naked legs last Sunday in those splendid moments of sunshine that graced the altars of my favorite church –Pisgah National Forest.

In honor of those who like to dress up for church, I wore a skirt that has become my favorite piece of riding gear. I bought it off the clearance rack at Target. It’s meant to be a bathing suit skirt, so it’s got an underwear liner that perfectly fit over bike shorts and even tights. What’s really deluxe is that it’s short enough not to get hung on the back of the saddle when I’m SHREDDIN’ IT! Nobody wants to be snagged to the saddle when busting a move, right girls?

Additionally, it’s a perfect cover to the “lycrabutt,” which hides nothing, and accentuates everything. I think I’ll wear it road riding from now on as well. I’m certain that drivers who enjoy hating bikes who come up on my butt in a schoolgirl mini will think twice about throwing various floorboard items at me and flipping me the bird. A girl needs to consider her audience.

My personal research shows that this particular group of drivers is much more likely to be a bit surprised at seeing the skirt, causing them to veer off to the other side of the road before plunging off of the embankment. Their shouts of anger often melt into sexist remarks, but that’s easier to handle than a beer bottle into the spokes.

I think the “lycrabutt” look makes one look a little too serious. When the hardcore see me wearing their same uniform, they’re going to expect the same game. When they see me in a skirt, they are more likely to underestimate me, allowing me to spank at least a few of them. This allows me the opportunity to suck without nearly as much judgment. It’s a win-win situation, and I get to look, and feel, cute.

Feeling cute while on my bike in the woods also means that I take myself less seriously, and that really results in a lot fewer accidents. It makes it more about artistic expression, which is something I’ve been trying to focus on more. Being fast and strong is great, but being fluid and purposeful is downright hot.

I’m not the only one to think this way. More and more I am seeing girls in skirts getting muddy in the woods. Tutus even, which I really covet. A friend of mine said she would trade me a massage for a tutu, but since it’s been a year, I’m offering the deal up to the first person who wants it.

Get out your skirt and RIDE!

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